Other Review: Glenlawn Presents: The Boyfriend

This play proves without a doubt, better stage does NOT equal better performance.

The Boyfriend takes place in 1920's France (I think. It's definitely France.) and opens with one of the characters, Marcel Marcel, announcing for all to hear that this play is a spoof. I say, spoofs are supposed to be funny. This was not a spoof by that logic. The play goes on with (what's the opposite of a catchy song?) several droppy songs, awkward acting (a girl is constantly aware of the crowd as pointed out by Marcel Marcel, but that is never developed in the play.), weird characters, (an old man I could only describe as a pedophile.) and a lame plot. (EVERY main character gets married at the end! There's ten of them!) To say something good about this one, it had great sets, and it wasn't as long as other musicals. The attempts at jokes in this one were all misses, I laughed once throughout, and only because I had silently passed gas. This would merit a two, if it wern't for a total break-down where everyone should be crying, but they all break out into laughter, and several sound faults. (Hmmm... did they borrow our sound guy?) It's TOO LOUD! Now it's too quiet. Now it's not even working, and now someone back stage is having a conversation.
It cost eight dollars. Ours was five.
If you want too see this one, lucky you! I saw the last one. This had to be said though, a one out of six.

Videos You Should Look up on YouTube

Wow! A new feature! This is where I'll tell you some videos that I think you should see on YouTube. You don't have to agree they're good, but at least check them out.
In no specific order:
#1-Super Smash Bros. Brawl Opening
You can't go wrong here, whither you own it or not.
#2-Arby and the Chief
The only Halo 3 Machinima I frequent. You'll laugh.
#3-I Am Legend Alternate Ending
The dark-seekers still have huge mouths.

Poll Results: Nintendo Pay for Play

The Question: If Nintendo started asking for money, would you pay for Nintendo Wi-Fi?
Your Response:
45% said they could live without it.
36% didn't even own a Wii.
18% said that they would if they had to.

11 voters this time, A NEW RECORD!
A new poll will come up in conjunction with a relevant post in the near future.

Mat's Blog Notice: Happy Easter!

I figured if I have a blog I probably should wish everyone happy [insert holiday here.]'s. So I'll start here. Happy Easter everyone. How did you celebrate Easter? I had chinese food and then played Brawl. As a matter of fact, I'm still playing Brawl. I've been trying to get online with it but stuff happens, y'know? Anybody who wants to call me out and Brawl, (once I get my router set up) email me your Brawl code. I'll add you ASAP and we can fight or play Subspace Emissary, your call, I'm up for whatever. Wow. That got off-topic fast. Happy Easter again everyone, and I'll keep posting later this week.

Quatri-Annual Console Checkup

Another new blog feature. Every three months or so I like to see how all the current-gen consoles are selling. This will be subbmitted in a set of three top three lists: Consoles Sold, Attach Rate, and Top-Selling Game, and then decide a winner.
Consoles sold to date:
#1-Nintendo Wii-20,539,464 units.
#2-XBox 360-17,638,630 units.
#3-PS3-8,641,805 units.
Attach Rate:
#1-XBox 360-7 games per console.
#2-PS3-5 games per console.
#3-Nintendo Wii-4 games per console.
Top Selling Game:
#1-Wii Play?(Wii)-9.3 million units. (I'm as shocked as you are.)
#2-Halo 3(360)-8.1 million units.
#3-Motorstorm(PS3)-3 million units.

Based on this, I think that the Wii wins this Quatri-Annual Checkup. If only the Wii sold more software...then it would be invincible. The 360 has some dedicated owners though, 7 games per console. The clear-cut loser this time is the PS3. Will that change with Metal Gear Solid 4? Only time will tell. As for Wii Play outselling Halo 3...It's true. I can't believe it either.

Movie Review: Bee Movie

This movie is a testament to how you can't judge a movie by its...ummm....theatrical trailer? I went to the theater expecting to see a mediocre animated kids movie. I was wrong, and I ended up seeing a pretty funny movie. Funnier than I thought a movie with Jerry Seinfeld in it would be.
The movie tells the tale of Barry Bee Benson, a bee fresh out of college who decides to leave the hive for a day before he makes his one permanent job choice. You see, in this world, Bees take three days of Elementary school, three of junior high, three of high school, and three of college, and then they choose the job they will have until they die. Bees can also talk, and take nectar from flowers using some form of gun-vacuum. Once he leaves the hive, Barry is caught in the rain and stays inside an apartment for shelter to wait out the rain. He is nearly killed by some guy, and is only saved by a woman, played by Renee Sellweger, who Barry thanks, breaking one of the Bee Laws, no talking to humans.
The movie goes on and Barry winds up suing the human race for stealing honey from his species for centuries. That in turn allows the bees to stop working, as all the honey they'll ever need is supplied to them, causing all the flowers on earth to wilt due to lack of pollination. Barry saves the day by bringing the last flowers on earth to New York and having all the bees re-pollinate every other flower.
This movie was funny, and fun to watch. On the other hand, with all jokes made, about half of them were misses, but 50% is a pass. And the last couple of action sequences in the movie are INCREDIBLY ridiculous, planes held up by bees, a crazy colour alternating flower, and pollen healing the flowers instantly. Worth watching, a four out of six.

Some Punctual Reviews: Movies I saw this week

Scooby Doo: three out of six.
I loved this movie in 2002.
Scooby Doo 2: two out of six.
Very cheesy, no Scrappy Doo.
Flintstones in: Viva Rock Vegas: three out of six.
Some clever jokes in this one, worth watching.

Movie Review: Batman Begins

I have never, EVER seen a Batman movie before. But I have seen a lot of action movies before. So I'll run off that.
This movie had one of the s...l...o...w...e...s...t openings I have ever seen. Action was hardly seen until halfway through.
But Mat, there's more to a movie than action sequences.
I'm getting to that. The story through the first half is incredibly hard to follow, Bruce is a kid, now he's in jail, now he's a kid again, now he's in jail again, now he's a kid, oh no! Now his parents were shot! Let's talk to some weird guy and climb a mountain and learn ninjitsu.
But don't lose faith in this movie! Some of the plot holes are mended in the end.
I don't know about other films, but I don't think this movie is very true to any other Batman comic, campy 60's show, or movie. The Batmobile looks nothing like (I think) it should, Wayne Manor is burned to the ground, Bruce Wayne just stole his gadgets from work, and the entire opening is probably not how it happened in the comics. But I don't know.
This movie was...watchable (barely), and a Batman fan may enjoy it more than me. I have to give this one a two out of six.

Game Review: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Worth the wait. 100%. Super Smash Bros. Brawl, after being delayed 3 times, is out as of yesterday. And here's the scoop.
With 35 characters and infinite stages (You can make your own.) this game's multiplayer has never been better, with severe improvements to Special Melee (now called Special Brawl) and rotation for 5+ players. Adventure mode is the best single-player experience in the game, on the Wii, and in video gaming itself. But don't worry, veterans of Smash will relish in the Classic and unlockable All-Star modes as well. Stadium is back with Co-Op play, so are Event Matches. Adventure is also Co-Op. And all Co-Op modes are also online compatible.
The game also contains some Wii VC demos. They are the only drawback in this game, as they are too short and do not give a good enough idea of the game portrayed. (1:30 to play Kid Icarus. Come ON!)
The game offers four controller set-ups as well. Wii-Mote and Nunchuk, Wii-Mote on side (NES style), Gamecube, and Classic controllers. All buttons are FULLY interchangeable as well. (I turned off the "Tap Up Jump" control on my GC controller. That bugged me SO much in Melee.)
What a game. I'm going to go play it right now. Then I'll play online later this week and post my Brawl code. (This game remains FREE ONLINE!) A six out of six.

1 Day Until Brawl

Wario-Wario Man-Wario transforms into Wario-Man, increasing his attack power. Don't use his motercycle though...
Windwaker Link*-Triforce Slash*-Same as Link's. The name may be different though.
R.O.B.-Diffusion Beam-A short fury of lasers comes out of his eyes, causing damage to anyone directly in front of him.
Olimar-End of Day-Olimar flies off the stage and bulblaxs damage everyone else. His ship returns to the stage in an explosion.
Captain Falcon-Blue Falcon-Anybody Captain Falcon grabs gets run over by the Blue Falcon. Instant KO.
Jigglypuff-Jiggly Tuff*-Jigglypuff grows, and may either shink back to normal, or stay large until KO'd.
Lucas-PK Starstorm-Same as Ness', except Lucas' fires straight down.
*-Denotes a name I made up.
That's them all. I'll get the game tomorrow and review it on Monday. Also, check out today's Foxtrot in the Saturday comics.

2 Days Until Brawl

Ice Climbers-Iceburg-A HUGE iceburg appers on the stage, causing freezing and damage.
King DeDeDe-Waddle Dee Army-Waddle Dees, Doos, and Gordos appear and charge into opponents.
Wolf-Landmaster*-Wolf uses a Landmaster. Serously.
Lucario-Aura Storm-Lucario jumps up and goes ka-mai-a-mai-a.
Ness-PK Starstorm-Falling stars rain on the map.
Sonic-Super Sonic-Sonic transforms into Super Sonic.
Bowser-Giga Bowser Transformation-Bowser transforms into Giga Bowser.
*-Denotes a name I made up.
Almost there...

Gaming Report: Wii Pay and Play

When this news came out of GDC, I was outraged. Nintendo, after only releasing one console with sketchy online play, now wants to collect some fees.
When I saw this I thought, "Will I ever get affected by this? I don't play online.", then I thought, "Brawl?!".
That's right folks, the game I was looking forward to play some casual online with, is in PERIL of being emblazoned with the Pay to Play logo. And if it isn't, what about Mario Kart Wii? That may be a certainty.
But enough about me. Payment would likely be payed monthly by Wii Points, and may cost upwards of 250 points a month. (That's $2.50, a penny a point.) My question is, with Nintendo's obvious lack of multiplayer support, (games and players) will this make things worse? I think so. I'm not paying for Nintendo Wi-Fi. And neither should anyone.
Check out my review of Brawl in four days to see if the legends are true, and that payment will be nessesary for online play.

F*****-Update: Wyrd Sisters Vs. Harry Potter

Possibly the Wyrd-est thing I've heard about in a while. A Winnipeg based band, the Wyrd Sisters, is filing a lawsuit against Warner Bros. for a reference to a fictional band of the same name, that has shown up in the fourth film: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. They decided to sue on the grounds of "If the name is used in the film, the band is convinced it will encounter public confusion about its origin on future tours and album releases."
And I have never, ever heard of this group.
Are they that unsuccessful? They are a band based in Winnipeg. That's where I LIVE. If I haven't heard of them, neither has Warner Bros., J.K. Rowling, the guy who lives next door to me, or anyone else I know. For all I know, they have never toured, they have never produced an album, they have never existed outside the basement or garage in which they practice.
What do they want? $20 million.
What? Are you serious? That's not the Canadian way. Move to Amarica and file a suit there. See if I care.

3 Days Until Brawl

Falco-Landmaster-Same as Fox's.
Pokemon Trainer-Triple Finish-All three Pokemon use some sort of beam attack.
Ike-Super Aether-Super-enhanced version of his up+B. Guaranteed KO.
Snake-Grenade Launcher-Snake fires grenades from a helicopter from the foreground of a stage.
Peach-Peach Blossom-All opponents fall asleep and edible peaches fall from the sky.
Yoshi-Super Dragon-Yoshi sprouts wings and starts spiting fireballs for massive damage.
Ganondorf-Beast Ganon*-Ganondorf turns into his second form from Twilight Princess and slams into opponents.
*-Denotes a name I made up.
That's it for today, seven more tomorrow.

Movie Review: Rush Hour 3

Probably my favourite Jackie Chan movies (Sorry Around the world in 80 Days) I first saw the Rush Hour movies some six years ago, started with 2, and then looked for 1. This was my favourite surprise of 2007. I never got around to seeing it in theatres, but I JUST finished watching it on DVD.
These movies are an excellent mix of action and comedy, the former provided by Jackie Chan, and the latter provided by Chris Tucker. This movie is no different than its predecessors, which IS a good thing.
The movie follows Inspector Lee and Detective James Carter's (mis?)adventures as they try to take down the Chinese Triad, who are seeking a list of thirteen Triad leaders known as the Shy Shen. The two travel to Paris to track it down.
With its great action and choreography, plot twists you'll never see coming, (Like the ending. Watch the movie ok?) hilarious dialogue, and Jackie Chan, this is a worthy end to a trilogy. (And a good lead up to a fourth one perhaps?) Great movie. A five out of six.

Some Punctual Reviews: N64 Games

This is a new feature. I want to review some old games, but not write paragraphs on them. So this new feature will let me list some review scores and some notes really fast. This time: N64 Games.
Super Mario 64: six out of six.
Still the best there is in 3d platforming.
Yoshi's Story: five out of six.
Better suited to a Game Boy perhaps?
Mario Kart 64: five out of six.
My favourite console racer, not much replay.
Banjo Kazooie: five out of six.
The best game no one played.
Bomberman Hero: five out of six.
Best Bomberman game out there, but no Multiplayer.

Game Review: Halo 3

What a game. I never really enjoyed Halo until I played this. Although I still don't think it deserves all the hype it has enjoyed over the years, it is a really good game.
Let's break it down ok?
Single Player Campaign mode has one of the most involving stories I have ever seen, as well as great voice acting, excellent AI, and wonderful gameplay. This game adds Equipment to the series, small gizmos you can activate using X to create a Bubble Shield, Grav Lift, or set down a Trip Mine. Dual wielding has been stripped down from Halo 2 a little, limiting your weapon combos. (You still have n00b combo...relax.)
Custom Games is better than ever with the new Forge feature, which lets you move and create scenery and weapons on any of the maps. As well as great new options.
The online play is where this game shines though, it's just great and I can't begin to describe it. So many different modes and voice chat. It's the best online experience to date. Play it at a friends house to see what I mean.
Before you buy it though, be wary that you may not feel up to beating Campaign a second time, (I'm only halfway through Heroic difficulty, and haven't played in weeks.) so make sure you have your Live set up first. A mistake I regret making. Still, this game deserves a six out of six.
n

Mat Blog Notice:The Fate of the Mat Blog

I have not been updating this as regularly as I wanted...as of this week I will only be posting on my time. Check back often, but gone are the days of posting every weekday with a regular feature. Continue to look for those features, but don't expect them to come on the day they used to.
Be aware of the latest poll question too. You can choose more than one as well.
Thanks for Reading, My apologies, and such.

4 Days Until Brawl

Continuing from yesterday:

Marth-Critical Hit-Instantly KO's any opponents within the range of his attack.
Mr. Game and Watch-Octopus*-Mr. Game and Watch turns into a giant octopus to attack enemies.
Luigi-Negative Zone-Luigi creates a green field on the stage and opponents inside will be affected by many status effects.
Diddy Kong-Rocketbarrel Barrage-Diddy flys up and shoots peanuts at enemies.
Zelda/Shiek-Light Arrow-Instantly KO's anyone hit by the arrow.
Pit-Paulutina's Army-Centurian Warriors fall from the sky.
Meta Knight-Galaxia Darkness-Swoops out his cape, if (and only if) he hits an opponent with it, will he slash at the opponent and anyone else in his range.
*-Denotes a name I made up.
That's all for today. Check out today's Smash Bros. Dojo Update to find out all the items in Brawl, and then come back here tomorrow.

5 days Until Brawl

Here it is everybody. The last 5 days until Brawl will be counted down as I reveal every character's Final Smash. If you don't know what that is yet, get off my blog, and don't come back.

Mario-Mario Finale-Mario shoots a wide jet of fire in one direction.
Donkey Kong-Konga Beat-Donkey Kong's DK Bongos cause sound waves to damage opponents.
Link-Triforce Slash-Link traps one person in a Triforce and slashes him repeatedly.
Samus-Zero Laser-Samus fires a HUGE laser at opponents, and then turns into Zero-Suit Samus.
Zero Suit Samus-Power Suit-Samus gets her Power Suit back.
Kirby-Cook Kirby-All opponents fly into a pot, take damage and fly out.
Fox-Landmaster-Fox drives a Landmaster tank for a while.
Pikachu-Volt Tackle-Pikachu turns into a ball of light that damages enemies.

More to come tomorrow!